I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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