I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
