oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He had one of those small greek statue penises
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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