what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
