the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
