I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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