and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
