I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
