I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Who died my cat blue again?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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