Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I had to cum in my sink.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
