Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
