what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
