I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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