This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
