OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm always down for nudity.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
