Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
