if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
