If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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