it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize