hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
