you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
