apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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