He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You work out of a Hotel?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
