Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
im holly from the hills drunk
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
