too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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