my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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