i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I got her a Nickelback box set.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
