so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
