no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize