Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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