Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
