just come out here and I will go home with you...
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
