so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
you never un-have a 4some
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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