You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
