I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
