fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
