She just used a chaser for red wine.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
