question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
