You work out of a Hotel?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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