he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
The best revenge is premature balding
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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