i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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