Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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