dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
