and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
