How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
