Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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