Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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