tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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