We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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