nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
