I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
