dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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