I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
