real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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