People with herpes should wear stickers.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
then he tried to convert me to islam
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize