He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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