apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
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