Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
