i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
