I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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